5/2/2007

The Transcendental Oil Change

For years I have heard car folks speak fondly of the chore of washing and waxing. I can also attest to the mystery of this seemingly boring chore becoming a restful, contemplative, Zen state. Somehow, with each disappearing swirl mark the worries and woes of the day are shed as the mind is freed and images literally begin to flood the neural pathways. Plans for the future, dreams of the past or merely planning out the next bar b que feast occupy my mind and before I know it the chore is done and it’s time to pop a top and light the grill.

Another scene of drudgery come meditation is the oil change. Call me a sadist but this is truly a grand occasion. Space must be cleared, time allotted, tools gathered and snack stores set aside. Besides being necessary, the oil change is a chance to get re-acquainted with your vehicle. For me, it is the time to inspect everything under the car from the e-brake cable to the trans pan. You can check the progress of the rust under the floor or if the super rust proof paint is holding up down there. It is a good time to give all the leaky things under there a nice wipe down too. Go ahead and give the suspension a good shake and swing the front wheels through their arc and check all the steering linkage. There’s a million things that need tightening up under the car so what better way to pass time.

While the oil is draining and the sun is crossing the sky you might as well check out the brakes and lube all the zerks too. If you lube it before and after the winter you can get fresh grease in those zerks before the onslaught of water and salt, and then force that crap back out when you re-lube in the spring. Remember, ”If you love it, LUBE IT”. The truly ambitious can do a spring cleaning on the trunk. Never know what you might find in there, like, “holy smokes, I do have extra brake drums in here!” or “oh, that’s where the cooler full of luncheon meat went.” This is also a good time to clear out the 50 odd pounds of rocks and debris lodged all over the undercarriage picked up from driving your classic Mopar on dirt roads and covered wagon trails across the desert.

The oil change is just a great time for all kinds of minutiae like the license plate lamp, greasing the u-joints, or clearing leaves and dead carp from your taillight lens housings. You can even get on your back, up under the rear window, and re-do that crappy caulk job on the back glass where the algae grew last winter. One of my favorite little “secrets” is to hose down all rubber and urethane suspension bushings with a liberal coat of aerosol silicone spray lube every oil change. Annoying squeaks go away and the silicone protects the rubber a bit too. Don’t be shy with this stuff, go crazy, hit the shock bushings too and for a grande finale you can carefully direct a little stream of it on fan belts with the engine running…ooooohhhhhh, sooooo quiet.

Think of all the fun you will miss if you let some total stranger at the “Cramalube” do the work. If you do it yourself, at the very least you’ll know the drain plug is on and on tight and the same for the filter. Seriously, when you do an oil change yourself you can catch all sorts of situations that might have turned ugly had you not seen them. Or maybe your mind will clear out and you’ll drift off to sleep on the creeper while staring up at the mastery of Chrysler engineering. After all, it’s safe as milk under there because you have the car securely on jack stands. 

 

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